A Letter to My Future Daughter

now playing Sara Bareilles - Love Song

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum my little princess. Ummm how do I write this? There's no occasion, really. I just suddenly feel like writing to you, although, you are not here, yet. But just so you know, I already fall in love with you. No, I'm not yet married, darling, and no, I'm not expecting (as in pregnant) a child right at this moment, but I do expect to have children in future, insyaAllah.

Sorry it gets a little awkward. This is my first time 'trying' to talk to my child actually (I don't have any experience on how it's like to have my own baby), so pardon me *wink*. And baby girl, your mother is an awkward-er, so, ummm hope you can deal with that.

Sayang, as for today, I have picked either Lilah or Sarah to be your name. Lilah, pronounced "Lai-la" simply means "night", while Sara means "princess". It is also the name of the wife of Prophet Ibrahim. These are two of my favorite names, I actually like simple names, and we'll leave this at here for this moment, as I need to discuss it with your father first, on which name will be yours, and would you have a middle name, we don't know that yet. 

And oh, speaking about your father....at this moment, I haven't met him yet. Really? I don' know. I mean, the only moment I can be sure that he is your father is when I'm married to him and bearing his child, do you get me? Sooooooo, right now, let's stick with "Only-Allah-knows-who'll-be-your-father". Alright alright I know I confused you so to make things clear; I'm writing this letter as a bachelorette. Ummmm maybe I have met your father. Maybe he was in my class, maybe I saw him in college, maybe we talked on the net. Or maybe we haven't encounter each other yet. Okay, time will comes for that, let's leave everything according to Allah's plan, shall we? :)

Alright, next thing. What should you call me? Few years back, I really love to be called "Bonda". Yeah I know, classic. UN-realistically classic. Haha. Maybe not "Mak". I call you grandmother "Mak". "Ibu" sounds cute, tho. "Mama" is not bad either. "Ummi", or "Mommy"? Right at this moment, I love these two the most. You can call me "Mi" for short. Isn't it cute? "Mi, I wanna eat bananas. Mi, I couldn't sleep. Mi, please hug me I'm scared."

I, will always hug you honey. When you're scared, or when you're sad. When you're utterly happy, or when you're just feeling restless in the heart. Your momma is a cuddly, huggable kind of girl, so you don't have to worry. I will hug you still, even if you feel like you don't need it anymore. These arms will always be your home. 

InsyaAllah, growing up, you will be the cutest girl. On the inside, as well as on the outside. You don't have to look like the society's "standardized" definition of pretty. You will have such a beautiful heart and the beauty inside you will glow. You will be pretty, just the way you are. You will love the tone your skin, the thickness of your hair, the type of your body, the size of your foot, the depth of your voice, you will love how your teeth show when you smile or laugh. I know this might sounds hard, believe me, I've been there, but trust me, you worth so much more than what other people think of you. Mommy is trying to tell you that "fair skin", "thigh gap", "hour glass figure", or "thick wavy hair"is not the only definition of beauty. You, being yourself, is beautiful. And I love you in any matter. 

Your mommy kinda has a dream of her own, like; keeping your hair very long when you're still a toddler so that you can rock all kind of hair styles you like while going out because before so long, you will start rocking those hijabs, according to syariah insyaAllah and I will say to myself "My princess is all grown up." I also would love it if you feel like learning to play musical instruments be it guitar or piano or both, I have no objection on that. It excites me though, as I had no chance learning those while I was a kid.

Or if you like to keep your hair short, or rather learn to swim than do musics, you can always tell me. I will always support you in whatever you do, as long as it brings no harm, I'll be you number one cheer leader. You can always choose your interest, or what you want to do when you grow up big enough to live on your own- what you wanna do for living, be it science or art, do whatever makes you happy. 

Just, remember, life ain't always sunshine. It's gonna rain, even with thunderstorm sometimes, but the moment you see those rainbows, nothing else matter; you just know, that day is your day.

Just, remember, when nothing works out, Mommy is always here. Daddy is always here. And Allah is always here. You are always welcomed home, I'll bake your favorite cookie, and we'll be having warm honey lemon tea at the balcony, figuring out life.

Till then, assalamualaikum.

P/s : Don't forget to oftenly wear that smile, you look gorgeous in it. :)

Lots and lots of overflowing love,

Your Mom

April 2nd 2014

Galway, Ireland

This is Auntie Jasmin and Mommy, we both believe that olives and good friends fix almost everything. Shot by Auntie Salihah, another strong lovely lady I'm thankful to be acquainted with. :)

Lovely Turkish Ladies

We are currently in Berlin city. There is a lot of Muslims in Berlin and most of them are Turkish. Later this evening we walked from Siegessäule (Victory Column) to the famous Brandenburger Tor (Brandenburg Gate). The road is closed for vehicles as they are preparing the street for New Year's Eve celebration, and many stalls were put up; mostly selling food, candies, games and whatnot.

We then saw a food stall with four ladies in hijab cooking inside. We  were so excited to see a halal food stall and we really wanted to try the food sold which seem like a German-Turkish food I don't really recall the name (it was quite long and tricky teehee).

They were two old ladies and two young ladies inside. The elders were cooking and the yongsters were more to entertain and serve the customers. Only one of them can speak a little English; the young and most beautiful one. So she was the one who explained us what their food basically are.

Suddenly the elders speak something to that young beautiful English speaker sister, something we could not understand (obviously) and they were pointing at me. And I was just being me, being all blurred and confused. Hahaa.

Her: Where are you from?
Us: Malaysia. Errr, Malizi (Malaysia in Arabic).
Them: MasyaAllah MasyaAllah. Eyes eyes.
Her: They said your eyes are so beautiful. So nice. MasyaAllah.
Me: Ohh. Urmm. Ohh. Err thank you. *insert awkwardness here*
Us: These are just contact lenses.
Me: These are basically not my real eyes. Hehe.
Her: Contact lenses? Really?

The elders didn't believe me. They even come closer to look directly into my eyes. Hahahaha. I had to held my eyes wide open for a few seconds until they take my words. Still, they went "MasyaAllah MasyaAllah".

They were like so amazed and amused with my 'eyes' which I have grey contacts on at this moment. And inside I was taking to myself,

"Aiyoo Auntie aiyoo Kakak, you are so much much much more beautiful than me lah. Your eyes your eyebrows your nose your tudung your face your make up your everything. DON'T YOU REALIZE YOU ARE FAR MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ME?"

No joke. These lovely Turkish ladies are far prettier than me. Even the elders, they look beautiful. I hope these Turkish and Arab ladies aware that they were blessed with beautiful figures. :)

Ps: Something we noticed about these Turkish people, they use "MasyaAllah" very regularly. Like they ask one question, you answer, and they went all "MasyaAllah" with your reply. Which I think is something good. It somehow alarms me that I need to zikir and remember Allah more often. :)

My attempt to wear a scarf "Turkish style" *wink*

Perihal Tandas Awam.

Setiap kali keluar rumah, perasan tak, kita mesti akan cari tandas awam. Tak kiralah tandas shopping mall, tandas stesen minyak, tandas bayar, tandas free, hatta tumpang tandas KFC TAPI TAK BELI. Eh ter caps lock pula. Haha. Nature orang Malaysia, khususnya Muslim, kalau pergi tandas, kena make sure ada paip air, barulah boleh ber-bisnes dengan selesa. Kan? Lepas tu, paling suka kalau jumpa tandas (free) yang serba moden, wangi, cantik berkilat, ada make up booth, siap ada sofa haa, tapi paling benci kalau tandas cantik tapi takde paip air, betul tak? Hahaa.

Saya nak ceritalah sikit pengalaman saya dengan tandas ni. Saya setuju sangat dengan apa yang saya sendiri tulis kat atas tu. (Eh, apebende aku ni?).

Bermula dari masa nak pergi Ireland dari Malaysia hari tu, (first time pergi obersi, sila bagi can) barulah saya jumpa dengan cabaran tandas takde paip air dengan sebenar-benarnya. Kiranya dah dekat tujuh bulan lah masuk toilet yang ada toilet bowl dengan tissue roll je. Tissue roll pun kadang2 takde, habis. Naya betul. Haha. Toilet bowl pula, memang takde lah yang cangkung tu. Disebabkan takde paip air dalam tandas, boleh lah ye masing2 bayangkan apa jadi kalau flush rosak. Hahaaaa meraung. Lagi satu, selalu je jumpa tandas awam unisex. Bayar 30 sen, masuk, beraturlah lelaki campur perempuan.  Biasanya ada dekat stesen bas atau stesen kereta api.

Yang tak bestnya bila takde paip air ni, kita rasa macam semua orang yang kat luar tu dengar je semua jenis bisnes apa yang kita tengah buat kat dalam tu. Geli pulak rasanya tulis benda2 macam ni. Eh. Haha. Tapi benda yang betul kan? Memanglah dulu belajar dalam Feqah kat kafa, istinjak tu tak semestinya guna air, boleh guna kertas, tisu, waima batu. Tengok, betapa Islam ni memudahkan. Dalam bab menyucikan diri pun tak terkecuali. Gituu. Tapi agaknya sebab dah biasa dari kecil, nak menyucikan diri tu, bila guna air (secukupnya) barulah rasa bersih. Sebab tu rasa resah gelisah je kalau masuk toilet takde paip air.

Solution nya, ramai yang bawa botol kosong ke mana-mana. Supaya senang kalau nak ke tandas. Sumbat je dalam handbag. Bila nak ke tandas, isi air sinki ke dalam botol, guna lah air dengan bahagianya. Ada juga yang terlupa bawa botol sendiri atas tersengaja lupa, masa dah kritikal tu mulalah tanya semua orang, "Eh kau ada bawak botol toilet tak? Nak pinjam" Hahaaa. Eh macam cakap kat diri sendiri.

Okay. Dilema. Nak bawak botol besar, semak dalam beg. Nak bawa botol kecik sangat, takut nanti tak cukup. Lepas tu saya terjumpa satu botol ni. Bukan lah botol tapi fungsinya sama. Yang bestnya, boleh dileperkan, digulung, bla bla bla tanpa menyemakkan beg anda, semua saiz beg pun boleh masuk. Kecuali beg duit. Eh tapi kalau gulung botol kecik2 lagi mungkin boleh masuk beg duit juga. Cari di Euro Giant je (kedai 2 ringgit versi ireland), harganya 1 euro kalau tak silap.

Untunglah, dekat Ireland ada Euro Giant~

Mesti ada yang nak cakap macam ni. Haha. Kalau di Malaysia mungkin boleh cuba cari di kedai2 dua ringgit atau Daiso. Rasanya ada insyaAllah.

Saya rasa lah kan, benda ni applicable je untuk semua orang. Tak semestinya untuk orang yang nak ke luar negara je. Sebab sekarang ni kat Malaysia pun  makin banyak je tandas awam yang tak ada kepala paip, kalau nak air kena tekan butang pastu dia pancutkan air dari mana2 entah. Sengsara betul. Penyelesaiannya, bawalah botol boleh gulung ke mana2 sahaja. Letak dalam beg, dia takkan mengganggu hidup anda.

Minah saleh pun ada je yang masuk tandas awam bawa botol kosong. Siapa kata orang putih weewee tak cuci pakai air? ;)