Anish Apijah nak jadi apa?

Masa sekolah rendah cikgu suruh tulis karangan 'Cita-cita Saya', confident je tulis "guru yang berdedikasi, ingin mendidik anak bangsa, yadayadayada". Lepas tu up sikit, tukar, nak jadi pensyarah pulak. Cikgu tanya "Hanis, awak nak jadi pensyarah apa?" Cikgu Rosliadi nama dia. Confident jugak jawab "Pensyarah ugama, cikgu!" Haha 😂😂😂.

Makin tambah umur makin bertukar-tukar cita-cita. Pernah nak jadi Engineer (dah isi pun borang nak masuk sekolah teknik), Architect (sebab tengok abang Form Five macam cool buat Lukisan Kejuruteraan), Pakar Forensik kerja dengan polis (sebab selalu sangat tengok CSI), pernah rasa nak jadi cikgu again - Guru Add Math (sebab masa tu pergi Perfect Score SBP Add Math), and pernah jugak nak jadi Chemist (sebab suka Kimia gila gila gila). 😁

Last-last lepas SPM sambung medik. 💉 Alhamdulillah, enjoy je and the experiences are magnificent. 😊 And now dah halfway through dengan Medicine, masih lagi tanya diri sendiri, betul ke nak jadi Doktor ni? Sebab sometimes rasa tak yakin dengan keupayaan diri sendiri. 

But what can we do is berusaha je sesungguh hati dan selalu jugak berdoa dengan Tuhan semoga dipermudahkan jalan yang kita dah pilih, or show us the right pathway in our future life, sebab after all, Dia je yang Maha Mengetahui segala rahsia di langit dan di bumi. 😇

Yang penting, usaha! Ada rezeki, alhamdulilah. Kalau takde, kita reroute. 😉 (tengok-tengok nanti Anish Apijah jadi Perdana Menteri ahahahahahhahaaha)

P/s : macam biasa stethoscope pinjam 😜
P/s/s : #throwback gambar masa OSCE tahun lepas, cuak gila and tak perasan pun OSCE jatuh on my birthday, sampai la the examiner doctor (my crush lol) check student card and cakap "Congratulations, you are done. Happy Birthday!" sambil senyum kasi cair satu kali. Kah! 😂

Sorry That I Rambled

I don't know. Maybe I've kept too many things bottled up for these past few weeks. 
This is a hard path, it really is, and I acknowledge that. I don't know how other people survive this, but I've tried so hard to make sure that I TRY my best to make the most of it. And I've been improving, rather a lot than the last time. But when I think I've had given my all, the reality hits me hard, on the face. 

Bersedia dari awal. Burnt the midnight oil if I had to. Made sure to go through everything before the class/tutorial/practical starts. Prepare myself because I know nak setaraf dengan kawan2 yang lagi pandai ni, it takes hard work. Ilmu tak datang golek-golek macam tu je, that one I know. But the thing is, kau rasa kau dah bersedia, and when the real time comes, rupanya ada sejuta lagi benda yang kau tak tahu. That's a part of learning process, again, that one, I know. Tapi when it comes to feeling inferior, and insecurity, I guess we just can't help it, eh?

Bukannya jealous dengan orang yang lagi pandai, tapi disappointed dengan diri sendiri sebab... tak tau sebab apa. Sebab ilmu tak cukup tinggi macam orang lain maybe? And why are we comparing ourselves with other people, is another question I couldn't answer. It hurts so much harder when you're mad with yourself. Disappointed with your own self. When you're feeling overwhelmed, and incompetent, and like you don't belong. When you think that you've work hard enough but apparently your enough is not enough enough.

I know, I should not focus on the bad things but need to see on great things I've accomplished so far. To feel tired, to complain is definitely not an option. But little did I know being positive is quite a hard work itself. To tell myself that everything's gonna be okay is rather a hard work itself. And to live up to people's expectations is a hard work itself.

May Allah give me strength, give us strength.
I'm sorry that there's too much negativity in this post. I just need to let it all out. Night. (I'm fine.)

It's Overrrrrrr

The summer exam is finally overrrrrr.!
Alhamdulillah I did my best, we did our best.

Of all the ink and the tears *wink*,
Bismillahi takaltu alaAllah. :)

Thanks.

Thank You

For always be there.
During ups and downs.
During laughs and frowns.

When I was about to lose faith in myself today.
Dan air mata pun tumpah lagi tadi.

For always be there.
For always believe in me.
When I am not trusting myself anymore.

Salihah Athirah. Jasmin Syuhada. Siti Nurzulaikha.
Thank you loves.

When family is away.
Friends, will always be around.
But only true friends can read your heart.

One lovely evening.

One lovely evening. I mean the weather. So I sat at my study desk. As you can see, my study desk is 'attached' to one massive window which I loved so much as I can see whats happening outside. So I sat at my study desk, reading. Just then I heard one loud happy tune coming from the apartment across the road. So I looked up. Yes, the ice cream van. Apparently, I was not the only one who heard that tune. Two girls in hot pink leggings (how barbie-like-girlish) were so happy for that tune (I can tell from the way they ran). Unfortunately the happiness only lasted for two seconds as the driver just drove away, maybe he didnt see the two girls running towards the van he was in. And the girls were so shocked they missed the ice cream van, they stood there blankly for five minutes. And I was at my study desk, watching with mixed feelings. Cuteness, funny, and pity all at the same time.

Then I looked down again, seeing my reading on renal anatomy has not move a bit, I feel pity and sad for myself. Blame the window for being one big fat distraction?

1.2/2013; New Year, New Semester

#nowplaying Daylight by Maroon 5

Assalamualaikum all. :) Ya Allah. It has been FOREVER since I last posted here. For those who have been wondering (ehhh ada kah?) where on earth was HahaTomatoBlast for these past six-seven months, well right on this very second I am typing this post on my desk in my room in Dunaras Village, my hostel in Galway, Ireland. Yes, Ireland. Alhamdulillah, finally. :')  Allah made my dream comes true. :)

In fact, I have been studying here for almost four months now and today I start my second semester of the year. :) Okay truthfully, I do feel quite guilty for not updating, abandoning my blog and forgetting the little world I built here. I know I should keep on writing no matter what happened so that I can restore these memories and read it when I got older. Sounds corny, eh? ;)

So I made up my mind; I should write here, a few times in a month (at least) regardless the fact that not everybody is reading blogs anymore nowadays. I should tell my self that I write not for them to be pleased but for ME myself. :)

Mushy. Haha.

Oh yes, I did mentioned that today is my first day in 1MB7 1.2 right? Hahaha whuuuuttttisthattt 1MB7 1.2..!? In Layman's term (ecewahh) it is simply described as "First Year Medical Student, Second Semester". First day of the year masuk sekolah. Ha.Ha.Ha. After three weeks of winter break, yes only three weeks but STILL, cuti, means no class no textbook no whatnot, i think you got the feeling aite? *cough*

The day started as early as it can possibly be, Medical Professionalism (macam belajar sivik) lecture at 8am. Tell you what, naik bas pagi-pagi feels like nak naik bas balik raya kat kampung tengah malam buta. LOL Subuh starts at 6.41am and ends at 8.49am, so you got the idea on how gelap the world outside kan? Haha.

I need to stay at the uni until 5pm (mind you, Maghrib starts at 4.37pm which means I walked out of the house masa gelap and got back home bila dah gelap. Huhuu, this is winter eberybadehhh) okay sambung balik; I need to stay at the uni until 5pm as I need to attend my first SSM meeting. SSM stands for Special Study Modules in which the student got the opportunity to learn in depth on whatever medical field that he might be interested in. In my case, my SSM is Cardiovascular Medical Device. I am practically so excited, people who know me must be aware how much I love cardiology, heheee. And for start, we need to make a presentation about pacemaker this Thursday, and then we'll be going on with meeting patients. YES, real patient. OMG cuaknya cuaknyaaaa. On the very first day of school pun dah cuak habis dah ni, takde masa nak warm up warm up dah. =.=''

I think this should be enough, for now. Panjang pulak mak nenek ni membebel. See you in the next post. Till then, jangan nakal-nakal, assalamualaikum. :)

lenguh ni angkat upper limb tinggi-tinggi, hipster betul =..=

Aim for next post(s)

- winter break tour; Galway-Edinburgh-London

- what I love about Galway

- anything I feel like pointing out?

InsyaAllah

Niat dah ada, kena cuba laksanakan. :)